Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
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he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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