someone threw a dead crab at me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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