yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
