Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
