Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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