I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
