What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
What a dumb baby whore.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
