its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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