I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This girl is more easily done than said...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
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My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
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It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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