I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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