I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
