The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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