We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
nutella sex= disaster
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
