marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
