i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
