She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
