your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize