omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just had sex on a roof
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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