On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
