So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
