I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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