Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
