Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
