Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
