Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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