Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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