Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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