i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
