I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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