omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Randomize
