That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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