I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
