can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
