he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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