I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
