I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
