Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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