there's paper in my vomit.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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