so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
