no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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