It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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