how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
