If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He kissed a someone with a penis
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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