WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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