he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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