very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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