giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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