sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
