I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
3 2 1 whiskey
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize