I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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