my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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