your thong is hanging out like whoa
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
