Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just blew my weed a kiss
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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