the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize