Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Randomize
