She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
handjob tips. give me some.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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