He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
