Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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