I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
