There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
