do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
