I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
