It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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