he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
