we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
