sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
