ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize